When I wrote about my predictions for this year’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominations, someone’s Twitter conversation triggered my memory of one of my many blog projects. So, I spent the better part of last week searching through my idea journals to find my long aborted wish list of artists who have been snubbed over the years. Man, did I ever have a list!
So, after much editing and updating and re-editing and re-updating, I think I am ready to release this whopper of a list upon an unsuspecting public. Please, allow me to reiterate a couple of things. First, I am not blessed with any musical talent; I cannot sing if my life depended on it or play a musical instrument. Sports and accumulating worthless knowledge are my canvases. Second, I am a huge fan of the many incarnations popular music has come in over the years and constantly am seeking to hear those important artists of the past, present and future. Third, for some reason I do not comprehend, if I read about it I retain it. That talent was useful in school and college but kind of gets you labeled as a nerd by your peers while growing up. Finally, I am not a rock music scholar. I have more holes in my historical perspective than a block of Swiss cheese (You do know that those holes are caused by the bacterium that spoils the milk into that Swiss. Basically, those holes are bacteria farts, but I digress.). So, all you people who have a better grasp on history, please do not snicker too hard at this list.
With this list of 200 artists, I placed them in some order of who I believe is most deserving at the top, splitting metaphorical hairs between artists placed near each other while those much lower are the artists who I believe are less influential. Since I have trouble editing myself, I am giving you the whole whopping, nearly overwhelming list. Grant you, this is an act of futility, only to make me frustrated. Also, I did try to remove my own biases and preferences, but I am sorry, I still cannot stomach Jethro Tull for some reason and subsequently listed lower than most Hall Watchers would. I don’t know what it is about them either. This violent reaction of my internal organs and the outer layer of my epidermis happens whenever I hear any of their music outside of “Bungle in the Jungle” and “Aqualung.” So, please, don’t crucify me! Then again, the confident former coach still inside tells me that you all should just deal with it.
Specifically, rock music has been both a visceral and ethereal influence upon me. Seemingly, unlike any form of music throughout history, rock has been able to couple a pulsating, aggressive sound that strikes through to your soul with a literary use of words to soothe your psyche. Whether it’s “Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam boom” or “The screen door slams, Mary’s dress waves, Like a vision she dances across the porch as the radio plays” when coupled with their accompanying music, the listener is transported away from their world into an escape. Those two things go hand in hand. Mozart and Beethoven never really worried about lyrics, so their music was of their time yet not nearly as urgent and timeless simultaneously. Don’t get me wrong! Those “classical” composers created some of Earth’s greatest musical pieces. What I am saying is that rock’s lyrics are what makes the impact of this music as spiritual and intellectual with a major wallop to the groin so visceral.
Enough of my philosophical ramblings! Let’s take a look at my 200 Artists Worthy of Induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. No explanations, just the names. So, let the slams begin.
- Kraftwerk
- Carole King
- Mary Wells
- Todd Rundgren
- Cher
- Tina Turner
- Big Star
- The Runaways
- Gram Parsons
- Willie Nelson
- Dolly Parton
- The Doobie Brothers
- The Jam
- LL Cool J
- Iron Maiden
- The B-52’s
- Patsy Cline
- Judas Priest
- Joy Division/New Order
- Big Mama Thornton
- The Smiths
- Depeche Mode
- The Monkees
- Pat Benatar
- Cyndi Lauper
- The Notorious B.I.G.
- Nine Inch Nails
- Oasis
- Johnny Burnette & the Rock ‘n’ Roll Trio
- Afrika Bambaataa
- Eurythmics
- Duran Duran
- Link Wray
- The Carter Family
- Pixies
- Hüsker Dü
- Tommy James & the Shondells
- Eric B. & Rakim
- Love
- Carpenters
- Rufus & Chaka Khan
- Whitney Houston
- Chic
- Commodores
- Ozzy Osbourne
- The Spinners
- Mötorhead
- Björk
- Mötley Crüe
- Raspberries
- The J. Geils Band
- John Coltrane
- Outkast
- Rage Against the Machine
- MC5
- Devo
- The Replacements
- The Go-Go’s
- The Marvelettes
- Boston
- Jane’s Addiction
- Joe Cocker
- Kate Bush
- Smashing Pumpkins
- Buzzcocks
- King Crimson
- Sonic Youth
- A Tribe Called Quest
- Dionne Warwick
- Weezer
- Tool
- Little Feat
- Pet Shop Boys
- Chubby Checker
- The Pointer Sisters
- The Crystals
- Neil Sedaka
- The Shangri-La’s
- Dick Dale
- Ben E. King
- Paul Revere & the Raiders
- Los Lobos
- The Meters
- Beck
- Soundgarden
- Slayer
- T. Rex
- Sheryl Crow
- TLC
- War
- De La Soul
- Warren Zevon
- Joe Tex
- Salt-N-Pepa
- Dead Kennedys
- New York Dolls
- Sinead O’Connor
- Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
- Dre
- Peter Tosh
- Merle Haggard
- Black Flag
- Suzi Quatro
- Wu-Tang Clan
- Kurtis Blow
- Ice-T
- Diana Ross
- Ice Cube
- Queen Latifah
- Glen Campbell
- Sonny & Cher
- Emmylou Harris
- Don Henley
- Tracy Chapman
- Kool & the Gang
- Blue Öyster Cult
- “Weird Al” Yankovic
- Styx
- Thin Lizzy
- Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
- INXS
- Hole
- Liz Phair
- Jethro Tull
- Anthrax
- The Specials
- Television
- Gil Scott-Heron
- Sade
- The Clovers
- Brian Eno
- Phish
- George Michael
- The Bangles
- The Flying Burrito Brothers
- Barry White
- XTC
- X
- The Time
- Harry Nilsson
- Steve Winwood
- Bad Company
- Jan & Dean
- Mott the Hoople
- Toots & the Maytals
- Alice in Chains
- John Prine
- Bad Brains
- The Guess Who
- The Sugarhill Gang
- Patty Labelle/Labelle
- Rufus Thomas/Carla Thomas
- Lionel Richie
- Phil Collins
- Luther Vandross
- Rick James
- Peter Frampton
- Squeeze
- Stray Cats
- Tears for Fears
- Faith No More
- Madness
- The Black Crowes
- Jimmy Buffett
- Peter, Paul & Mary
- Grand Funk Railroad
- Captain Beefhart
- John Hiatt
- Mariah Carey
- Joe Jackson
- The Ohio Players
- Procol Harum
- Slade
- Badfinger
- Jesus & Mary Chain
- Can
- Foreigner
- Herbie Hancock
- Blood, Sweat & Tears
- Mary J. Blige
- Kansas
- DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince
- Minutemen
- Teena Marie
- The Damned
- The 5th Dimension
- Boz Scaggs
- Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes
- Waylon Jennings
- Fugees
- Violent Femmes
- Misfits
- Cameo
- Arrested Development
- The Sweet
- Supertramp
- Three Dog Night
- Wynonnie Harris
- Carly Simon
- Meat Loaf
If My Records Could Talk 